Were You Aware?

So, i've hit microblogging pretty hard... www.twitter.com/hillisj

Yea. Explains why I haven't been back here much lately. Meh.

Some new thoughts. There really is a lot that is new. Most of it is cool. Some of it isn't. I've been pretty meh lately with regards to life. Let's begin.

Work
Work is work. I've been sitting on my ass everyday for 4 months. And what do I have to show for it? One easy project (web development for our group) and one difficult (real time I/O issues in our 787 flight simulator cab). I have little else right now. Budgets are tight due to the economy, the 787 sliding first flight, force reduction, etc. Now, what I don't tell people, or haven't until now anyway, is that, when I go to work, I often joke to myself sarcastically: "Well, here we go. Off to my 40 hour a week job. I am so happy having a stable work life. Off to my wonderful life."

That's what i've been feeling. Seriously though? I would have been flat out stupid to turn down an opportunity such as this when it was offered. I'm making good money. I'm learning a lot, interfacing with interesting people, making a name for myself, gaining confidence in everything, etc. That said, i'm bored. I knew I would be bored. I'm tired. I knew I'd be tired. So, what can I do? Just keep going to work. God how I hate the sound of that. I hate it. I don't hate my job, but I hate this idea that I am fulfilling the stereotypical view. Maybe if I was really more interested in the work, I'd have a slightly different take on it. I'm close to getting laid off. Is it wrong that I'm secretly hoping I do? I'm going to miss my work mates.

Video
I am in a rut. You wouldnt know that from my august weekend schedule, but damn do I feel useless. I'm super pumped to do work. But, work and money come into issue. I don't really have any issues with this really at all. I'm just frustrated at my lack of creativity recently. Thats gonna change here in august. Oh boy...,

Relationships
So. Wow. Crazy amount of nothing. Things are mixed up in my head about all of this. What I keep coming to in my head is that once things settle down, and I get a chance to clear my head and gain some more confidence, things will naturally settle into place. The other part of my is super critical about everything. I blame my weight, my looks, my smell, my oddness, everything. I say, once I get into a bit better shape, then my confidence will roll back in. I also am struggling with the idea that I should just be completely and utterly happy with myself as I am. Only then will I gain the confidence back and see things improve. As usual, I think way too much into it. I really believe that, I should just attempt to be happy. Happy with me. And thats it. I really just need to not get myself so mixed up in it.

I second guess myself a lot. I struggle coming up with things to say to some people, other time it comes super easy. I can't really comfort anyone anymore. I used to think I was good at that. I want to be the guy that is your friend, and also someone you can trust to talk to.

I really blame myself for how my last relationship ended. Nothing I could say could make her feel better. When I tried, she replied: "I have a right to feel how I want to feel." Yes, yes you do. You really do. But the fact is, I also have a right to care for you in times of need, I have a right to say what I think, I have a right to want to talk to my girlfriend openly and honestly without fear that it will send you away crazy mad, I have a right to know what you're thinking, I have a right to try to make you happy. There were times when I felt super incredibly attached to her, and other times when I felt completely helpless. Several of which caused me great anguish. I wish you possessed an ability to look at yourself from far away and surpress your gut-reaction to criticisms. You shouldn't get angry and defensive when discussing things like this. Especially when in my company since I do not view you in a bad light, I don't attack you, nor even have pity, or think anything bad of you. I drove the relationship away after one of those helpless nights, wanting so bad to not be in the situation i was, wondering to myself for hours how in the hell things turned out this way. It started off so amazingly, with such promise. I offered a break. You made your choice. I respect that. I still care for you. But god damnit, i've never been so hurt in my life.

I'm not sure what else to say. I think I needed to say that.

I think I switched towards microblogging because, on a daily basis, I have lots of random and happy thoughts. All of these entries are all depressing. I've mentioned that before. I suppose there is nothing I can do about that really. It is what it is.

Thats enough for the night. There may be a part II in the future. Lates.

 Feeling very uninspired right now. Senior project is kicking my ass. I'm designing a gui/user interface for it, and i'm trying some new things. I can't seem to get the hang of it. Feeling very self conscious about my design skills right now, mostly becasue i've been trying for the past few weeks to nail down a final design, and am absolutely disgusted with everything I come up with. It looks childish, unprofessional, and just plain stupid. I have some amazing ideas in my head right now, and my deadline is aproaching. I've got so much else to do as well. I need to pick things up and move forward. 

I'm not one to give up, nor ask for help, but I'm not sure I'm going to be able to do this...

 HAHA! Great day!

Finally got the nerve to connect my old harddrive full of music offloaded from my lappy to my zune software. So, instead of limiting myself to 60-70 rotating artists on my laptop (not enough space, so when I get something new, i take the old off and put it on my external hd), I now have a wealth of 619! Woot! 

AH! I'm absolutely geeking out right now, listening to music from 2-3-4-5 years ago. AHH!

Aaron Copland - Fanfare for the common man: Haven't heard this version in so long..
Acoustic Alchemy - Sira's Song: Old school AA. its super old. You can't even buy the cd anymore. It's the only one from their discography that is no longer distributed :p
Oh ahha Adam Green!
Alexi Murdoch - Home; All My Days; Orange Sky; Wait: Wow, good feelings. Long time ago.
Yay! I have Andrew Bird again. Smile.
Fuck yes: Austronautalis.
Haha: Ben Folds, Ben Gibbard, Ben Harper, Ben Kweller, Ben Lee, Ben Folds Five..sheesh.
Billy Bragg! Wilco! How i've missed you so!
Caesars - Paper Tigers; Jerk It Out; Winter Song! Sick.
Old school Coldplay.
Chuck Mangione! 
OH Oh! The Cinematics! Forgot how much I love this band, jesus. Check out A Strange Education. Good stuff.
Clinic! Woot.
Cold War Kids! Collective Soul! Common Rotation! hahahaha
Whoa, Death Cab.
Dire Straits :D
Edgar Winter...sweet.
Oh wow, haha. Interesting: Eiffel 65. w..t..f
ELO! Explosions in the Sky! Europe.
WOw. Faultline ft. Chris Martin. So haunting. Forgot about this song. Makes me shiver.
Fifth Dimension - Puppet Man! Yes!
Film School. No way. No way!
Flaming Lips, Foreigner, the Format! Heheheh.
Finally found my Fort Minor. 
Frausdots - Soft Light. pretty much most of 2005/2006. 
Gary Jules, Future of Foresty. Good times. 
Wow, didn't realize I had so much gregorian chant. lol. So much random shit on here. Haha Stairway to Heaven - Masters Of Chant Chapter III. What the hell was I thinking...
Old School Guillemots! NO WAY.! GEEKING OUT. SO much better than their new album. Made Up Lovesong #43, Sake, Over the Stairs. Amazing. 
Tons of Hanz Zimmer. Yay
Hard-Fi and Hot Hot Heat. Sick.
Oh my god, The Hidden Cameras. Can't believe it.  AWOOOOOOO!
Finally. I have Jon Brion back. Favorite composer. Hands down. Eternal Sunshine? yea. Amazing.
Jump Little Children - Cathedrals. Wow. Sad. Forgotten about.
JUST JACK! JUST JACK! Sickness. Love this guy.
Haha Kansas. Yes!
Longwave - All Sewn Up. Exit.
The Beta Band. Forgot completely about them. So good. So good.
Liars!
Oh wow.....Soundtrack from Lost. "Do No Harm" closing sequence. Shivering.
Old school Jack Johnson - Cocoon, Traffic in the Sky. Been about 3 years. Haven't forgotten that night. Just wow.
The Glazunov (Alexander Glazunov) Saxophone Concerto. I wanted to play this one so bad! Damn.
Magnetic Fields, and Madeline Peyroux. Great!
Massive Attack - Teardrop (House Theme). So good. Sick. House! Theme from House. Perfect.
Matt Costa!  Mew! Completey forgot! Jesus how I love this. 
Mellowdrone. Fuck.
Whoa, Michael Stipe - In the Sun ft. Chris Martin. That was a rough night. Long drive home after the hospital. Listening on duthie hill road. Song on repeat. sigh....
Mika!
Michael Andrews! (Donnie Darko), Minus the Bear, AND Michael Buble!
Mitch Hedberg. Good times. RIP mate.
Mojave 3! Sad song. All my Modest Mouse!
Moxy Fruvous! No shit! It's been forever! King of Spain ftw! Spiderman! So many more.
Ah Mozart. yes. Requiem! Dies Irae!
Old school OAR! Sick!@$%^
Ray Charles! Ray Parker Jr.
Regina Spektor! Yes!
Rock Kills Kid - Are You Nervous?: So good. It's been too long old friend. 
Shit ton of Rogue Wave. Smiling. Yes.
Rufus Wainwright! Nice.
Say Hi and Say Hi to your mom! Sick. Good shit. YES. Indie ftw.
Ah. All my SHINS! Sick! Wonderful
DAVID SEDARIS!
Wow, interesting. Slowdive. Need more of this. So good. 
Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin! They DO! Yes!
Sufjan Stevens! Oh so happy. I remember first listening to this. Jesus. Long time ago.
Haha Talking Heads and Super Furry Animals. No way!
TALLY HALL! Fuck yes. Fuck yes. Banana MAN!
Oh shit TEARS for FEARS. YES!
Wow. The Tragically Hip. Heh.
Ah yes. Triplets Of Belleville.
Tallis Scholars - Pope Marcellus Mass, Kyrie I, II, III. Shivers. Simply amazing. 
Voxtrot! The Walkmen! sweet. 
OOH! The White Stripes!
Oh finally. Sweet Jesus. Wilco. I missed you so damn much. Heavy Metal Drummer. On and On and On. Pot Kettle Black. I'm the Man who Loves You. I Am Trying to Break Your Heart. Sigh.
Youth Group! The Zutons! (Thank you zak!). Damn. 

Well that was in interesting emotional journey. Hm. not a whole lot to update with. Just felt like geeking out with someone. Livejournal sufficed. Heh. 

Lates.

In a super wierd mood right now. I have absolutely no desire to do anything, and yet, i'm super restless and want to get out and do something. I know I need to work on my take home midterm; my book and notes are laying open on my desk, but I can't bring myself to read them. 

I have lots of little things that are continuing to build up stress..and i'm not sure what to do. Mail back a check to my uncle, deposit 4 checks, get a haircut, get new clothes, fill out ballot, mail the ballot, do my take home midterm, contact a few friends, do more pre-production for a few upcomming you would! sketches, start editing my demo reel, work on my senior project (and i mean actually work on it), pack for the california trip, plan for the cali trip, and a few other things I can't place right now. 

Some of these I just need to start. Sit down. Put on some music. And start. Man it would feel good to get some of these things off my chest. I'm finding it difficult to narrow down times to work on everything; what's more important is that its diffucult finding the time AND being motivated to do the work at the same time. I may have the time (like now for instance), but I have no desire to think; move my brain; surf the net; listen to music (and yet i'm doing it); talk to friends; drive (at all); be social; sleep; really anything. One thing I do want right now, more than anything...

...is to be outside, in the cold, walking on a pier, the beach, a river, in the woods, in the desert, along a remote street, on an island. I have an overwhelming desire to sit in silence (either by myself, or with someone else), lay down, and watch the stars, or listen to calm waves splash against the shore, or hear wind blowing in the distance. I want to feel the cool breeze move accross my body, my face. I want to close my eyes, and be in some peaceful place. I'm really starting to get a little edgy about things right now, and I need some time to cool off. 

Hm. I'm interested in sharing something that i'm rather proud of that took place a few weeks ago. I've been able to meet a few really cool classmates lately and we've been slowly hanging out a lot. It's really neat having a small, tight nit group of friends again. I missed having that. In any case, one of our things we do is take photos (we all recently got some new gear, so we've all been looking for excuses to try and use it). We've, for the past couple weeks, been getting together and doing small photo shoots for the fun of it. I've been to seattle twice, a couple western excursions for photos, a few other real photoshoots, and other things on my own.

Anyways, now that you have some context, I wanted to share an image I discovered online a year or so ago. Never has a photo captured so much of my mind at once. It was my background image for so long and it had the uncanny ability to hold my attention for extended periods of time. It has a strange effect on my mind, and it makes me feel relaxed, small, and finite, but also special. Here is the image:



It's not the best picture ever, there is tons of grain, the composition could be a little better, but there is something about it that really changes how I feel. The reason I wanted to share this was because, for so long, this is exactly what I've been trying to emulate in my photography/astrophotography. To be able to take a photo like the one above would be absolutely amazing in my mind.

On one of my trips to seattle to take photos with the group of friends I mentioned earlier, we decided to stop off at Kerry Park per a reccomendation from a friend in the area. As it turned out, the view was incredible and the three of us stayed there well into the night snaping photos. Initially I was under the impression I wasn't getting much. This was partially true. Most shots were a bit blurry, or needed to be cropped and/or edited significantly. However, one shot out of everything stood out:

Graduation is close.

This has been increasingly weaving its way into my mind more recently; not due to a possible full time job in march, nor due to the possibility of getting a condo next summer somewhere in seattle/renton. Nope, none of those have been making me sweat quite as much as (I believe) they should. What has been bothering me is this: How will I do video production when I leave western?

I only have a few contacts residing in the Seattle area. How will I keep myself afloat? How will I keep this interest, and develop it?

A few outlets have come to mind. One such example would be to find a part-time/volunteer job at some production house/firm. This would allow me to work less than 20 hours on video projects, give me some increased exposure to the environment, and formulate some great contacts for future work avenues. This is one of my favorite hobbies after all. I can't let it just slip away like I did with the saxophone.

I'm starting to exercise a few Seattle area friends who are doing production work to see what they think. This is a good first step. I still have lots to do. Next I need to find some extensive amount of time to go through all the work i've been involved with over the past few years and compile it to some central location. I might finally be able to get to work on some sort of demo reel.

Small rant about a demo reel: I've spent a lot of my time developing a lot of different aspects, but have never spent a majority of time on one. I know friends who are really good editors, graphic designers, shooters, etc. So, when they come around to create a demo reel, they actually have something of sustinence to show off. When it comes to me, however, it feels like I have a lot of material to work with, but it's all over the map. And the truth is, it is very much all over the map. My personal interest is in cinematography and editing, but, i've only had a real chance to work on one of the two: editing. No project has come up that requires some seriously artistic dp work, so I haven't been able to exercise that skill much. Something to think about I guess.

In any case, we'll see what my contacts report back with. I may be able to tag along with some of them, who knows.

Something else that just came to mind. I keep telling myself: "After graduation" I will take care of this and that. For instance, right now, I don't really have a quality home comping solution that would allow me to do video capture/editing/storage. I keep telling myself, once I'm graduated, I'll buy some such system. But, realistically, will I be able to do that?

After I graduate, I'm gonna be (hopefully) working at Boeing. I say hopefully becuase my boss won't know until January if he will have budget for me to come on full time. Major bummer. In any case, lets say I do get the job. Great; I'm earning steady pay and can now afford to upgrade my computer system, get a sweet camera rig, maybe some other accessories. Here in lies the problem. I'll be living back at my parents house. How long will this last? I'm going to assume, for my parents sake, that it won't last very long. So now I need to find a place to live, get a loan, put on a down payment, get furnature, kitchen accessories, switch over the deed to my truck, pay more insurance, buy a home entertainment system. The list goes on. Where does video production fit into all this? Knowing me, if i'm not immersed in it in some way, it will get pushed to the bottom of the list, and my old saying of "After graduation" will be replaced with: "As soon as i'm settled in and have payed off some of my loans."

Now you see my worry. Perhaps, as a gift to myself, I should just purchase a new computer and a capture deck for graduation. This way, where I go, it will go. $2000 compared to a $20,000 loan is a large difference, and is considerably easier to pay off.

Something to think about I guess.

[Originally written Sunday]

Just random. Bored at 2:21am. Don't really want to sleep, but too tired to actually do anything requiring mental capacity. Went biking with my friend Peter today. While at Marymoor, we saw a 777 being escorted by a fighter jet crossing overhead. We were both pretty amazed. It's not something you see everyday.

I've started a list to keep track of things I want to do. The items can be big, impossible, or small. There are only a few entries in it now...knowing my brain, I expect it to get full. And also knowing myself...chances are, only a few will ever come to pass.

Starting to get into Dexter a little bit. It's pretty dark, but it makes me glad my life isn't so stressful. Watch a few episodes back to back, and you'll see what I mean.

Randy Pausch died on friday. Really made me sad. Kinda teared up at work. Yea, not cool. Go see his 'last lecture' and you'll know what I mean. Very insightful, brilliant, and kind man.

Starting to fall into a bad routine again. Go to work, come home and crash on my bed watching tv. I need to get out more and get some exercise. Running didn't last long. I think I need more discipline.

Had a pretty cool night talking with Lauren, Sean and Peter. We went to Sean's and hung out. We ended up roasting some marshmellows on his patio and talked about religion, the universe, existence, and others. That felt pretty good. It's been a long time since I've been able to have a good quality conversaition with someone.

Work has been fun. Slow the past week or so while I wait for some hardware to be finished. Now that it's done, I will be busy until I leave. Theres a girl at work. Someone from my past, randomly. She boyfriended-up last week, so she's out of reach for now. Sad.

It would appear the internet is down. Saving this for later edit.

Came to a realization. I have 3 weeks till finals. 4 weeks till summer. 5 weeks till Boeing. Then lots of nothing to do in my spare time.

I need to find a video project to work on this summer. It's going to be boring as shit if I don't....Any ideas? Any at all?

I might get in touch with one of my video friends in Seattle...see if he needs help on any projects. Or, I might finally get enough nerve to introduce myself to Steven Dempsey of Pine Lake Films. We'll see.

Hmm..
More later..gotta study.

Holy shit! Phantom Works! (Advanced research and development unit for Boeing). Studying Head-Mounted Displays/Heads-Up Displays. I'm Tagging along. For the summer. Fuck  yes!!

So excited...so excited.


ok bed.

Long..my bad. Just ramblings/rants.
Alive from last quarter. Did OK on grades. Want to do better this quarter.

Feeling a bit out of control right now. Lots to do. No time to relax (or so it seems). I actually have lots of free time currently built into my schedule. For some reason i prefer to sit around, surf the web, read digg/reddit 15 times an hour, edit images from the beach trip for 20 minutes until my laptop's cpu usage goes to 100%, then i sit in my chair looking off into the distance.

Sigh. Things seem less..happy than they once were. Maybe it's cause I have more responsibility. Maybe it's cause i'm more and more bored lately. Maybe it's because I want something new in my life, besides the occasional video shoot. Perhaps thats why i bought the new camera. It's great. Really. But I don't think its going to solve what I want it to solve.

...Getting a nice refund from the govt in a few weeks. Thats paying for the new camera equipment i orderd today. Yea, i know.

Hm..whats new. Thought about my mom for the first time a few months ago. That was a rough night. Thought about other things tonight too. That was also rough. Dad's healing up after his fall last year. Can barely see the scar now.

Maybe summer work will help take my mind off crap. I've got lots of work to do for western to give me credit. Submit a proposal, keep a journal, write a paper, register for the class, submit a paper, private meeting with the department head/instructor, with letters from my leads explaining how i did. Sheesh. I talked to the department head (Dr. Bover), said that Boeing is a good company to intern with, and whatever project I will work on will most likely get me credit. As long as it doesnt revolve around installing operating systems. Heh.

Little things are starting to tick me off lately. Like my messy desk. Bothers me sometimes. But I don't have the energy to clean it. So it sits there for a few days till i get fed up and clean it.

WIsh I could smell "myself" so i'd know when things might otherwise smell bad to other people. Then I could take the neccessary precautions sooner rather than later. I think I just need to develop some habits around this.

Sorry this is so random. No other outlet to unleash this on.

One thing that has been a real problem, and is starting to become more of one, is the amount of ideas/things I think about on a daily basis. It really stresses me out. Sometimes it keeps me from sleeping. The topics that come up can be anything. Examples include really cool camera angles to film for whatever project im currently working on, grades, things to do for the following day, wierd inventions (which im now starting to write down), really cool things to research possibly, alternate courses to take, random augmented reality applications, cool programs I could write but am too lazy to do anything about, and on and on. What started me writing this paragraph wasnt neccessiarly to complain about whats going on in my head at one time, but rather, to express my distaste for something i've done since highschool. I say things. I create ideas. I discuss opportunities. I say: "Yea! I wanna do that." or "That would be so cool to do.". Here's the problem. I never do anything. I say things, i have big ideas, but i don't do anything about it. Most times, i'm secretly afraid that people already know this, and think i'm just a preacher. I say things without meaning. Though, in truth, I truley, honestly mean well with it. Kinda also revolves around the trust issues that I still have with people.

God i need to go to bed.

So, i have a comfort zone. And for some reason, I am VERY intent on not leaving it. I still don't really want to drive in downtown bellingham/fairhaven much. I enjoy going to places i'm familliar with. If i have to go to a place i'm not familliar with, il try to find alternate ways of getting there, consider walking the entire way, or worse, i'll drive to the edge of my comfort zone, and fucking walk to the location at hand. This has been with me throughout high school too. It wasnt as big of a problem because i knew all my friends and we rarely did anything "out of town." On those random trips to frys, or elsewhere i would litterly start to freak out and try to get someone else to drive. Or i wouldnt do anything at all. That wasn't really all that bad. When it got terrible (man what i'd give to know then what i know now) was when allison moved down to tacoma for school. I found it hard to even consider the idea of driving down every once and a while because: "It was kinda far..." (40 minutes..seriously..wtf...not damn far at all); "Busy with school"...(yea yea, so were we all), etc, etc. What the hell. That was a stupid stupid error on my part. I use my truck as an excuse all the time too since i can "only really fit 1 other person comfortably, so we should take another persons car...".  I think these last couple traits are some of my worst, and I need to constructively work on fixing them.

I need to go to bed. Ive got work in 9 hours.

I'm kinda thinking about creating a blog where I discuss my random technological ideas/theories with an ociasional discussion on some random piece of emerging "new-media" (ex. Augmented Reality). But that would mean I have to actually type correctly and think about what I write before hand...might be good for my brain for once, since i'm no longer finding interest in books. Sad day.

Alright. Seriously. I'm turing the computer off now.

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Sex/Story?id=3932047&page=1

Interesting article...

"Those who lose their virginity at a later age -- around 21 to 23 years of age -- tend to be more likely to experience sexual dysfunction problems later, say researchers at Columbia University and the New York State Psychiatric Institute's HIV Center for Clinical and Behavioral Studies."

Since when is 23 years of age LATE to lose your virginity? WTF?

Well, lots of stuff goin on right now. Nearing the end of the quarter. New camera. Trip to oregon for spring break. Registered for classes next quarter. Big video shoot on the 14th (a zombie dance). Down in seattle today visiting King 5 studios. In the middle of pulling an all-nighter for large CS project.

The rest of this is just a stream of consciousness. Excuse the missed spellings. I'm approaching my 24th hour.

This program. Everyone said it was gonna be hard. They were right. Networking assignment is basically a remote file access client/server setup. I don't really want to get into details. It's tremendously frustrating. Moreso than any other programming assignment i've ever worked on. I have no idea why this is. It has taken me hours upon hours to get to where i'm at. Most of what i've written is only partially complete.. there are so many levels of testing..

In any case, trying to think logically about what I need to do for the program just doesnt come easily. I just spent maybe 10-14 hours on this assignment last night, and was only able to crack about a quarter of the entire thing. Just based on what I wrote, it doesn't seem like it should take me that long. My mind wanders way too easily, i can't think straight, if i'm about to write some piece of code down, i instantly second guess myself and stop. I erase what I put down, and take another 10 minutes to think about it, ultimately deciding to type the same thing out again and move on. It's so frustrating. I'm not as familiar with the language (straight up C), nor am I very familiar with all the elements that I need to implement and how to write them. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know what I'm going to do.

The program is due this wednesday. The prof takes off 25% of your grade for each class period that the assignment is late. I think my best option is to take the 25% hit and turn my stuff in on friday. I just want to pass this class. 30-40% of students don't usually pass, and end up taking it again. There are 3-5 in our class that are retaking it for the second time. A few others for the third. Jesus.

Ugh. Class at 11am today. I was able to get work off from 12pm to 1pm (which is kinda helpful...though not so much). I'm not going to program then. My head hurts too much. I guess I'm gonna try and find a quiet place somewhere and nap.

Heading to seattle today around 3pm. I'm not driving (thankfully). I don't think i'd be able to make it without any sleep. Getting a ride with Eli and the rest of the KVIK crew. I'm apart of this group called SID (Society for Information Display) that my boss from Boeing suggested i join. They do talks every month or so. This weeks talk is at King 5 Studios. I figure this is a perfect opportunity to get some exposure to a real studio (for those students who haven't been to one before). I mentioned this to Eli, he agreed. Typically these are just talks, not really tours, and i'm kind of worried that most people think it's some sort of in depth tv studio tour. I should make sure they know that before we leave.

I'm so damn frustrated with this networking assignment. Sleep - T-minus 13 hours and counting....

Just got this from my dad:

http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?cl=6653023 

Wow. This is cool. I need to explain something so it will make senes as to why i'm SO amazed by this.

Two quarters ago (last year) I took a class where we did research and presented a topic of our interest related to computer science and ethics. I enjoyed the class so much. Besides this point, it allowed me to do research on a topic of huge interest to me: Augmented Reality.

Long story short, during my presentation to the class, I wanted to give a sense of the possible future application with the technology. I gave far out examples of uses that I could see as being extrtemely important, futuristic, cool, and tangible. I gave numerous examples, one of them being this very example. Taking a pair of contacts, utilizing minature cameras, and creating an image on them that the eye could see was one of these "far out" examples. I did not read up on any of this technology before hand, I never saw this video last year, and, as I could tell, there was no research being done that was made public at this time. 

I'd like to think I actually predicted this while doing my research. Wow. This is so awesome to see this. It means my predictions wern't that far out, and that, there is an actualality to what I thought about. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. 

Now, to continue my "research." A dvd was made of the presentation if anyones interested :p lol.

Anyways, rock on.

...
Michael Stipe (ft. Chris Martin) - In The Sun

I picture you in the sun wondering what went wrong
And falling down on your knees asking for sympathy
And being caught in between all you wish for and all you seen
And trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe in

May God's love be with you
Always
May God's love be with you

I know i would apologize if i could see in your eyes
'Cause when you showed me myself,you know, i became someone else
But i was caught in between all you wish for and all you need
I picture you fast asleep
A nightmare comes
You can't keep awake

...

May God's love be with you
Always
May God's love be with you
Always

Wow, i needed that...

Ok. I can't sleep. This is why.

I've been up for a while and had to mention SOMETHING about what i've been planning. Every time I think about it, the scale and potential pay off grows exponentially. Here it is, simply and succinctly:

Imagine the movie Jurassic Park. Imagine a remake, timed perfectly to match shot for shot, line for line. The dinosaurs are people. And the locations can all be found either on Western's campus, or elsewhere in the northwest.

Damn that would rock, eh? Technically, it's fucking hard. Financially, it should be relatively small. No matter what I do, I can't shake it from my head. I want to have a documentary crew running around during technical meetings, and behind the scenes. An internet release, with its own site.

Not only would it be a huge learning experience, it would involve many people, lots of time, and be something that, if done well, could become big.

Obviously there would be things that, due to cost/time/locations, we would not be able to pull off. Things such as grand opening scenes with huge brontosaurus' drinking from the lake, or the T-rex chase scene, or the elaborate gate/building interior destruction, or the opening/ending helicopter scenes. I understand this upfront, and accept it. These can be "worked around" in various ways. For example: instead of a huge gate with a Jurassic Park sign on top, it could be a small chain link fence with a crappy poster on it. It really doesn't matter. What matters is the timing, and creative use of alternative ideas that get the same idea across.

Even now, I can see a scene in my head. During the "birth" scene when Hammond has the egg in his hands and slowly takes it apart, the dinosaur in the actors hands can be a dino actors head. We place the actor on a green screen, film them doing the actions, then bring the footage in, shrink the head and line stuff up. It could be downright hilarious if the actor is funny about it.

I have so many cool ideas to incorporate. First though, I need to watch the damn movie. Heh. Music might also be a problem, but if I found the right composer who could create something very similar to the John Williams theme, we might be in business (not that I plan on selling anything).

One thing that will remain: I don't want to make money. It would all be released on the interwebs, and, if good enough, possible on DVDs.

Damn I wanna see this become a success. I'm getting really excited at the possibility. I don't think anything like this has been attempted before.

Let's make something happen. Oh, and Merry Christmas! Haha.

On a random note: I've noticed I typically sleep 12 hours a day. If i go to bed at 12, i'm up around 12. 2am, wake at 2pm, etc. Not sure what to think about that yet.

On to the post. I had a nuclear holocaust dream last night. It was... weird. I remember most of the stuff quite vividly including the main explosion that sent a huge mushroom cloud high into the atmosphere. I remember thinking to myself.."so this is it."  But, apparently in my dreamscape, there are two types of nuclear explosions, ones that are dangerous and destructive, and ones that aren't that bad (I asked some guy next to me after the shock wave passed, and thats what he told me). You can guess which explosion I was in. So, you can imagine all the crazyness that would occur. Somehow, i ended up going to Westerns Bookstore, and met up with people i didn't know, and, to protect myself, found a two sided blade-stick-thing. The blades were wrapped with cardboard. People were everywhere, running around, screaming, yelling, toppling things over.

The explosion cause damage to buildings, and darkened the sky, but didn't do damage to some people...I think it turned some into zombies or the like. Hard to remember. What I do remember is helping people, and getting them out of buildings that were going to collapse. The dream was very, gritty, and I kind of liken it to scenery of God of War but on Westerns campus, and in some random cities.

One thing I also do remember is looking up after the initial explosion, into the dark, turbulent clouds, and seeing/hearing distant explosions, two in all. I really wish I could remember more of the dream.

In any case, I think I should get up and do something productive today.